You really coming over, don't trick.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize