3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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