He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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