relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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