and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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