the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
