It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
