Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
