Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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