OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
