Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize