Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
