it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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