the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
