After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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