Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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