Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude i'm inner monologue high
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize