I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
