Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
NoShamevember. You game?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
