So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
