The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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