is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Randomize
