I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
