everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
