Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
