Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize