Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
