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chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
