My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
