we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
