if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
