How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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