you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
