Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
