I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
