what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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