Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
