my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
