yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm always down for nudity.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
