your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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