we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize