whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
