I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
