We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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