Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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