This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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