We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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