i don't like sucking hair
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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