Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize