Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
