real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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