all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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