I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
