There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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