Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
