I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
