I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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