I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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