We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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