I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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