they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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