how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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