Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
