You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
