Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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