question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
